Maybe I should do heroin at 80

2025-10-20

So I watched this Kurzgesagt video about fentanyl.

Sidebar: I'm not sure how I feel about Kurzgesagt. Both in terms of the form of their content, as well as the substance of it. But that could be it's own blog post, so I'll leave it for there.

Anyways, it's a pretty compelling video. I'm not going to do heroin in the near future.

But at 80? All arguments against seem to fall apart. When I am sick and frail and on death's door, why deny myself?

And so my plan is as forth:

1. Every so often, check in with myself: Do I have a terminal disease? Do I want to die in the near future?
2. Determine dosage amount for an enjoyable fix
3. Determine dosage amount for a lethal fix
4. Prepare said dosages
5. Take the enjoyable shot
6. Kill myself with the extra dose

My friends can also rest assured that I will not be taking fentanyl. To be honest, I might do no drugs ever (except for the above scenario).

Though now that I think about it, what if my heroin shot is sliced with fentanyl????? Most upsetting, hmm.

Now, I've also heard that you don't instantly build up a tolerance. It takes some time. I am considering to perhaps amend the above to factor in multiple doses.

But there are so many factors!

• How many doses should I prepare? How can I even know how many to prepare.
• I believe I am of strong enough will to kill myself after a single dose. After multiple? I believe not.
• Tied to the above, I think seeing the effects on my loved ones might not be ideal
• etc.

So I will stick to the one shot. It's simple, it's good enough, let's ship.

Footnotes

• 80 is meatphorical by the way (or am I mixing that term around?)
• I am a total foreinger to drugs, I hope I am using the right terminology. I am probably not paying the right amount of respect however, apologies.